After waiting for me to fix my face before leaving the house, Lily asked me why I put on makeup. I told her that when I didn’t, people asked me if I was sick or really tired! She looked at me with bemused exasperation–the look I’m sure I’ve given her on occasion–and told me, “You know, Mama, you don’t have to do what everybody else says. You can do what you want.”
Ok, I can’t claim that this is specifically a “Crystal” thing to say. She’s heard the same thing from me on many an occasion, after all. But in all honesty, Lily really LIVES this philosophy, and that IS a “Crystal” thing.
The New Kids really do come into the world with a strong sense of self and who they are. They are in touch with their divinity and will often defend it. The Indigos (I’m one, remember) will probably say, “Screw you, Charlie” in similar situations, and I must admit I’ve done just that at times (though less edgily). Lily is steadfast in what she believes when it comes to her looks, and she will not be dissuaded from wearing what she wants, when she wants (though she has learned to comply when it comes to school uniforms). She’s been known to tell her grandma, “I KNOW it doesn’t match, but I don’t care about that. I like it.”
The thing is, I am happy with the way she expresses herself. She’s the kid who wears Disney Princess costumes with a head kerchief and Hindu dot at church. (Yes, she went through a Hindu dot phase, wearing it everywhere.) She used to wear a Dorothy costume everywhere for years. It drives my mom crazy at times, and I’ve seen other moms who are driven crazy by their daughters wearing equally wonderful outfits. As long as her private bits are covered and she’s warmly/cooly dressed, we’re good. I can tell my mom to let it go, but I have seen many little girls be trained to become anxious if their socks or hair bows don’t match. That is not a natural state for a child.
Kids need self-expression, whether they’re Crystals, Rainbows, Diamonds, or Doodle-Heads (I made that one up). It’s the New Kids, though, that claim it as their birthright.