Parenting the New Kids on the Block

Care and Maintenance of Your Crystal, Diamond, or Rainbow Child

“You’re More Beautiful than You Think”

A friend posted this on Facebook recently, and it really shook me up. Maybe you’ve seen it. Click on the blog title.

The skincare brand Dove did an experiment: women came one by one into a large, airy room and sat behind a curtain from a forensic police sketch artist. They didn’t know what he was doing there, and he could not see them. He asked them to describe themselves, and he sketched them according to their descriptions.

Then the women were paired with random strangers and told to make friends with them, chat, find out about each other. Then the strangers came into the room and described the women for the artist to sketch.

Oh, my, I’m tearing up again. Watch the video; you’ll see what I mean. The women were then shown the two sketches–of how they described themselves, then how the strangers described them. The reactions on their faces said it all: “I look… happy.” One woman just wanted to be held by her boyfriend. Most were teary, all were somber.

One woman summed it up best: “The way we view ourselves affects everything: the friends we have, how we treat our children, the types of jobs we apply for.” That this ad came from the same company–Unilever–that uses misogynistic and objectifying ads for its Axe products is rather mystifying, but that aside, this ad is truly transforming, and I applaud Dove for making it.

I was so moved that I showed it to Lily. She is always amazed when I’m moved to tears, and this was no exception. She’s young enough that she doesn’t have the body image angst that older girls have–which seems to be hitting them younger and younger these days–but on rare occasions she’ll think she looks “stupid” or “fat” (she’s not!). I wanted to show her the difference between how we see ourselves and how others see us.

Lily is, by every measure, a cutie pie. People stop us on the street to talk about how freakin’ cute she is. This has actually always bothered me somewhat, as it begins an obsession with the perceived importance of looks. Yes, she is terribly cute, but I always add–within her earshot–that she is also incredibly brave, smart, funny, and kind. Still, I know that even as enlightened as she is, and as supportive as her grandmas, father, and I are, she may well have body issues one day.

So Lily and I talked about the real message of the Dove commercial–that we should see ourselves as others see us. As Source sees us–which is perfection. What the strangers were seeing in these women was their God essence. If we could see that in ourselves, we would be much happier and accomplish great things. If we could see that in others–not just those we were told to make friends with, but even those we disagree with–well, see my previous post. Events like the tragedies in Boston and Newtown would not be possible.

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The Boston tragedy: a bully on steroids

After the horrible tragedy Monday; the hopeless feeling; the sensation that the floor dropped out from under us; the pain in my heart and soul; feeling the confusion, pain, and fear of those there (which I did after Newtown, as well), I asked Spirit for the lesson in all of this. As the Rev. Emanuel Cleaver asked during our neighbor’s funeral, “where is my blessing”?

And Spirit replied, “What is terrorism but escalated bullying?” and pointed me to a Facebook post I shared a few weeks ago (borrowed from my high school friend Margaret, now a hospice counselor):

* * * *

Bullying 101: Empathy

The ability to imagine oneself in another’s place and the thoughts, intentions, emotions and direct experiences of them.

Bullies are challenged by this. Not that they don’t have empathy but rather that their needs, wants and/or emotions are the priority. They have the ability to distance themselves intellectually and emotionally. As we age, the ability to distance becomes more difficult to change. Empathy is an emotion that is taught and can be taught. Remember yesterday when an Alpha Male mostly listens? That is one of the keys. In our brains there are specific neurons that activate during communication and if we are truly listening and attentive, our body begins to mirror the other. Our ability to quiet our mind, set aside our internal desires, emotions and thoughts is directly related to our ability to learn, develop and feel empathy. If you are empathizing with someone you are truly listening. If a bully was truly present and understanding someone else’s pain thereby not self-centered, do you think they would bully? Probably not.

* * * *

My friend Tom added a link to an article on bullying: http://news.discovery.com/human/psychology/bullying-phoebe-prince-teens.htm

The gist of the article is that, contrary to popular belief, bullies have average or higher than average self esteem. Now, self-esteem is a GOOD thing, but more importantly, the article also points out that bullies can lose their moral compass when driven by their peers.

Empathy is the key that keeps bullies and their peers (really, the driving force of bullying) from losing their way–and as Margaret’s post points out, it is an emotion that can be taught. If you are here, reading this, you are a likely a parent, grandparent, teacher, or caregiver who already teaches empathy and the sacredness of others. If you don’t make it a focus, perhaps you’ll be moved to do so now. As with anything dealing with the heart or emotions, teaching children empathy is not something you draw up a lesson plan for and say, “Kids, today we’ll be talking about how to imagine yourself in another’s place.” It’s something we model regularly, mention off-hand frequently, and let our children catch us doing daily.

As a believer in creating our own reality, I often stress to Lily that no one can “make” you feel anything. However, we do have intentions behind our words and actions. Using words and actions that are intended to hurt is not being respectful to the expression of God in others. Lily gets that. I let her know my occasional slip-ups of being thoughtlessly unkind, and we discuss how I could have done it better. As she grows and gains mastery over her emotions, she’ll share the same with me. Again, empathy is key–realizing that another person also has thoughts and feelings, as we do.

Those behind the bombings in Boston are bullies, plain and simple. They do not have the spark of empathy inside them that tells them that others’ freedom from pain and suffering is equally or more important than their need to make a statement. That their feelings of pain, of “righteousness,” of mayhem, do NOT take priority over the freedom of others to live their lives in peace. Like those in the news who have taunted and tormented others to taking their own lives, or adults to break down on a school bus, or who make countless children afraid to go to school, those who caused this event have not had someone model empathy to them.

WE–you, me, others we reach out to–can stop this. I see it on my child’s playground. The bullying starts young, and parents stand by. We can reach out to them and to their children and talk about empathy. It can start with us.

An open letter to the church from an aware teen

It seems light years from me now, but I know one day Lily will be a teen. I’m just glad that it’s at a time when her gay friends (and who knows, maybe she) will have more acceptance in their lives for who they are.

As this writer mentions more than once, her generation has very strong bullshit detectors–of course, a hallmark of the New Kids. As you read this, you can feel her strength, her presence, her Crystal heart. Sometimes it seems like the hateful voices are drowning everyone out.  I am glad she and others like her will be the leaders in a decade or two.


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Natural Self

This nugget comes from Bashar. If you are not familiar with who Bashar “is,” just read it. If it resonates, check out Bashar’s link at the bottom. If it doesn’t resonate, click over to another post.

Personally,  I think he accurately describes what happens to to us–Indigo, Crystal, Rainbow, Diamond, Gold–in the experiment of “school” and when we think we must adapt to “society.” As enlightened, informed beings ourselves, but especially as those who are raising New Energy children in an enlightened way, our job is to allow and support our children to NOT feel the pressure to assimilate in traditional ways.

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Bashar: The idea being that there is a Whole picture which you may liken unto a large puzzle that has a picture on it, as we know many of you like to play with on your planet. You understand that the puzzle is made of many small individual differently shaped pieces.

Good ! Now we have observed on your planet over the course of, say, several thousands of your years of time, you have been trained to try and be a shape you are not!!

“Try and be this shape.”
“Try and be that shape.”
“Sit here.”
“Come here, belong this way.”
“Do this, Do that, Do not be yourself.”
“That won’t work.”
“Stop daydreaming.”
“Stop being yourself and be who we need you to be.”

So now you have become experts at being someone other than yourself! The idea being, therefore, that when you do that you are no longer the shape you were originally made in. You are no longer as a puzzle piece the shape that fits in the WHOLE you were originally made for.

Then you cannot support the creation of the whole picture because you no longer fit!!

Only by being your natural self will you be your natural shape, and only by being your natural shape will you fit in the space designed just for little old you. And by fitting in that space do you then act in service to every other piece because then you support the WHOLE which supports all the other pieces who are willing to be their true natural shape.

That’s how it works!!!

Extract from Introduction to Bashar tape channeled by Darryl Anka:
http://bashar.org/HOMEMAIN.html http://bashar.org/HOMEMAIN.html


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Cliff’s Notes: “Parenting the New Kids on the Block” class, Part Deux-c

This is the last of the handouts. It actually came from Gail, too, and she got it from a couple of different sources (below). I like to give props where props are due!

Psychic Games

From Metagifted Educational Resources organization www.metagifted.org

Find the Photo Game – Get 6 or so identical sized photos, one of the child, one of a favorite relative, one of a friend, one of a pet. Keeping them face down and separated, ask them to find the one you name – of Auntie Sue or one of themselves, etc. (from ESP For Kids book).

What’s in the Gift Box Game – Have them guess what each birthday present is before opening.

Coin Toss Guess – Toss a coin and have your child guess which side landed up. Keep track. Consider offering prizes for getting it right more than half the time.

It’s in the Cards – Using a standard deck of cards, have the child guess whether each card is red or black. Then move on to guessing suits or numbers. Keep track of correct guesses and praise all correct guesses. Make a big deal about anything greater than 50% accuracy.

Holding the Bag – Put an item in an opaque bag, like a brown lunch bag. Hold it out for them or put it on a table. Have them put their hands on either side of the bag without touching it and tell what sort of vibrations it has. For instance, they can say anything like cold or hot, fuzzy or rough or smooth, metal, food, etc. Praise anything they get right even if they don’t guess the object.

Guess the Color of the Marble – Choose a marble from a bag and guess what color it is before opening your hand. As a more advanced version, decide before choosing what colors you will pull out and then try to get those. You can also use colored blobs of glass that you can get inexpensively at aquarium stores or colored game markers.

Get in Touch Game – Collect several pictures from magazines or photographs that have one central image in each. Have them put hands over or around the picture with their eyes shut and guess what or who is in the photo.

Energy Ball – Collect positive energy (chi) from all around you in the air and compress it with your hands into a small ball of pure energy. Start with a circumference of about 3 feet (beach ball) and bring together to about a 4″ softball. Pull and condense the energy together. Repeat over and over. Each time feel the energy building more and more. Feel the tingle. When you feet it, you can toss it to someone. Play catch with it. If it starts to fall apart, pull it together again. Teach children to build the energy ball themselves.

Sensing the Energy Game – Rub hands together rapidly about 10 seconds. Feel the tingle. Do it again, and then hold your hands facing each other. Feel the energy flow. Do it again and hold your hands further apart – increase from 1 inch to 5 inches to a foot. Try this with a partner and see how far away you can feel the energy from their hands. Next, try standing behind a partner and rubbing your hands together. Then holding your hands out, approach closer and closer and see when they can feel the energy from your hands. Then try the same thing, but touch them and then move away slowly, seeing how many inches away they can feel you. Switch places and see how far away you can feel your partner’s energy. Try this with different partners – like mom/dad/grandma/grandpa, friends. As you increase in sensitivity, try feeling the energy without having to rub your hands together first.

Weather Forecaster – Think about the weather for each day in the next week or so. Without using any resources except your gut feeling, guess what the weather will be like each day for the upcoming week. Write it down and then compare your guesses to the actual weather each day. You can also compare your guesses after you’ve made them to the weather forecast on TV, newspapers or on websites. (idea by Patrick Jordan)

Psychometry Game – Hold an object in one clasped hand. Sense the vibration of it. Let your mind wander over and into the object. Using your imagination, say whatever comes to mind. Use a tape recorder. If you have a group of friends around, have one of them secretly hand you an item and try to figure out which one it is from.

Feel the Light Vibration Game – Hold your hands behind your back with palms out. Another person shines a light, preferably one with a small bright, tight, close beam, on ONE of your hands. You guess which hand has the light one it by mentally seeing your palms and deciding which is brightest. Wiggle a finger of the hand with the light on it.

Many of these ideas came from this resource – ESP for Kids: How to Develop Your Child’s Psychic Ability by Dr. Tag Powell and Carol Howell Mills, 1992, Top of the Mountain Publishing, Largo, FL, ISBN 0-914295-98-5.)